I had a conversation tonight with my mom about the relationship I have with my brother - we are two very different people on two very different paths. My mom is concerned that we aren't close enough and that bothers her. I tried to explain that you can't force a relationship and when people are close, they usually have some form of common ground. In truth, I am closer to most of my friends than I am with my brother. It is sad, but I'm not ashamed to put that out there because I do believe there is a resolution out there, somewhere.
I am sure you all have experienced rocky relationships with certain family members, but do you feel that blood is thicker than water? I am sitting here wracking my brain trying to figure out how you can bridge a gap that is as wide a the Grand Canyon?
With friends that you grow apart from, you can just go your seperate ways, but when it comes to family, not only is it NOT acceptable, but it's not always that easy. If you have friends that you share more with and are supportive of you, isn't it only natural that you would grow closer to them? Are we supposed to be closer to our family than our friends? Is there a rule book or manual that says we have to?
We have published different articles on relationships, but when it comes to family, it's a gray area and we haven't covered much on it. I think it's something that should be discussed more openly...sibling rivalry, family fueds, minimal communication amongst families. I am appealing to our readers to offer their two cents on this topic because I don't think I am alone. Leave your comments and stories on this below...I think we will all have something in common.
I only have one sister and there is quite the age gap between us. We are 100 percent opposites and have had our share of nasty fights which has always bothered our mom. When my sister got married, we were barely speaking so i didn't see the point in going to the wedding because my friends were going on a trip to mexico and my sister hadn't expressed any interest in me going to her wedding. So i skipped out on her wedding to hang out on the beach. I was young and stupid and can never take that back. We got over it and made amends when she got pregnant with my nephew, but i can never get back those lost years and will forever see her wedding photos with me not in them. Forgiveness is important as is acceptance and patience.
You all have great points. I also think forgiveness is so important when it comes to family. As Rochelle said, you only have one family. You gotta love 'em, but you can love them from a distance.
Hi,
I did not grow up in the "traditional" mom-dad-kids family and there are a lot of people in my family that I don't speak to. Either because some disagreement or,like Darcie and her brother, we are just too different.
The cliche is that you choose your friends but not your family, but I've realized that by choosing the people who are in my world, they ARE my family. I am lucky to have "brothers", "sisters", "moms" and even a couple of "dads" in addition to my blood relatives, and I couldn't imagine them any other way. Blood may be "thicker than water", but friendship is thicker than anything.
Hello ladies, sorry about my muddled message earlier. My system went down on me before I could do edits and complete.
All I was really trying to say was that acceptance and respect makes it so much easier to enjoy the people you love, whether they be family or friend. And NO I don't think that blood is thicker than water, since sometimes a friend may lay down his life for you way faster than a family member would. To me that makes that friend family.
well i have been apart/estranged from several people at my life at different times, my mom, my dad, both of my grandmothers and my uncle.
I would think of them, and miss them but never did anything about it UNTIL one day I decided I was ready. I am a writer so I felt better writting to them but I have realized that no everyone responds to that method, so I got up the nerv and called. With my dad - he and I hadnt seen or talked to each other in 25 years, so we started things off slowly. And as time progressed and when the moment was right, he or I would bring up and discuss a topic, how we both felt etc. Now he comes over and plays with my kids and even babysits! All these years I thought that he was really selfish only to discover that he is really caring and loving, too emotional even.
With my mom, grandmothers and uncle, Once the call was made it took some time with each one of them, but soon after things were back like they were before. The end result is not as great as my dad its not to say that it wont blow up again as we are all really good at pushing things under the carpet, but a lot came from my side of understanding and more importantly accepting that they are who they are and that is never going to change.
The biggest part for me was accepting that they cannot change and deciding if I still wanted to that to be a part of my life.
I realized thought that they are family and they were there for me so no matter what I needed to accept them and let them into my life.
i hope that helps. if anyone wants to talk further, just email me.